Braids and Escaping Alive
by shadowblade-tara
Summary: In which Hiei is bored and decides to 'entertain' himself by tormenting Kurama, much to the amusement of everyone around him. Crack!fic.


Yu Yu Hakusho © Shonen Jump. Not mine.

So I really need to stop talking to Curse. Roleplays with her give me way too many ideas.

**Braids and Escaping Alive**

It was one of those days that trapped everyone inside. Except this time, _inside_ was Genkai's temple, and _everyone_ included Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama, and for some forsaken reason, Koenma. All of them. Inside her temple.

She wasn't sure who she felt sorrier for – Koenma or herself. Yusuke and Kuwabara were bickering again and Koenma was trying to keep the peace. Kurama looked ready to murder the lot of them (this had been going on for two hours) and Genkai was ready to help. Hiei just looked bored.

Genkai watched as Hiei glanced at Kurama from his position on the windowsill. The fox demon was leaning against the wall beside him, arms crossed and eyes closed, possibly pretending he was somewhere far, far away.

Hiei's hand twitched.

_Tug_.

Genkai smirked. Wherever Kurama's happy place was, he was about to be checked back into reality.

The fox simply ignored Hiei. The fire apparition wasn't impressed.

_Tug_.

Now Yusuke and Kuwbara were watching. Hiei and Kurama seemed unaware of their audience. Hiei tugged on Kurama's hair again, once again with no reaction. He frowned, then shrugged.

Genkai could almost see the "why the hell not?" cross his mind.

Suddenly Kurama's eyes snapped open as Hiei found a large chunk of hair and began playing with it. Yusuke and Kuwabara wisely retreated to the far wall, taking a confused Koenma with them.

"Hiei."

"Kurama."

"You must be feeling exceptionally suicidal today."

Something that could have been a chuckle rippled through Hiei. "Why do you say that?"

Kurama's lip twitched in what might have been a smile. "Why the hell else would you be _braiding my hair?_"

Koenma choked. Yusuke and Kuwabara hid their smirks. Genkai simply watched, waiting for the rest of the show. Hiei simply smirked. "So, fox – what are you going to do about it?"

"I might use you as target practice."

"You might." Hiei didn't seem too concerned as he continued to form little braids in Kurama's hair. The fox demon twitched in annoyance.

"Or I could just rip your arm off."

"Possibly."

"I imagine you would make good food for my blood-sucking plant."

"That would be creative."

Koenma took a hesitant step forward. "Um, Hiei – "

Hiei gave one of the braids a sharp tug. A small hiss from Kurama was the only warning they had.

The next thing Genkai saw was Kurama chasing Hiei out of the room with his rose whip, little braids fluttering behind him as he went. A sharp crack sounded from the other room, followed by Hiei's insane laughter.

"Too slow fox!"

"I'll kill you!"

Koenma blinked. Before he could speak, Hiei came flying back through the room, this time leaking blood from various cuts and still grinning like a fool. Kurama was hot on his heels, and the only thing separating them was a cloud of razor-sharp petals. In a flash they were through the room and out the door.

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Genkai all burst out laughing. Koenma just stood there, mouth open as he gazed after the two demons.

It was official. Genkai _definitely_ felt sorrier for Koenma.

/-/

Back at Kurama's house, the fox demon leaned contentedly against the wall while Hiei continued to braid his hair. The fire apparition grinned. "Did you see the look on Koenma's face?"

"I saw it." Kurama smiled faintly. "Was it worth getting cut up just to see it?"

"Hell yes." Hiei lightly tugged on one of the braids. "Next time you use your petals, I reserve the right to draw my sword."

Kurama's faint smile grew rather wicked. "It was all for show, you know."

"Hn. That's why they were trying to cut my throat."

"You pulled my hair."

Hiei laughed almost helplessly. "Go to sleep, fox."

Kurama nodded. "You'd better take those out when you're done."

Unfortunately, he didn't see Hiei's wicked grin. "Of course."

**End**


End file.
